Okay, so I threatened to do this, and by gosh darned if it didn't go and do it. In honor of Halloween, I've created some superheroes in the Mystery Men style. Feel free to create your own, or improve upon mine.
Bunny Man? When danger lurks, he runs and hides.
Tortilla Girl? She throws stale tortillas like Frisbees to disarm her opponents.
Eco-Man? He only uses environmentally friendly weapons--bio-degradable paper costume and all.
Literature Guy? He spouts Milton, Keats, and Plato at his enemies until they lose consciousness from either confusion or boredom.
Dictionary Man? He throws heavy reference tools at his enemies. (They come back to him like boomerangs.)
Opera Woman? She can render anyone unconscious with a high C.
Leather Man? Well, no one knows what he can do, and they don't really want to ask.
Lazy Boy? He defeats his foes by rendering them unconscious with his super sonic belches, all from the comfort of his recliner.
Dancing Queen? She...uh...he...I mean...she dances circles around her enemy creating the Vortex of Death. After which he, excuse me, she redecorates the room to match the villain's bruises.
Bitter Woman? She uses biting sarcasm to wound her opponents before taking them down with her feminist diatribes.
Mama's Boy? He stands around while his mother beats the crap out of his enemies with her trusty rolling pin (this is actually a super duo.)
Frances the Yodeling Wonderkind? I think it's pretty obvious what Frances' super power is. Yes, he throws Yodels at his enemies until they are too sticky to move.
Yodelayheehoo? Because her brother Frances stole her most effective power, she relies on the family tradition of yodelling to explode the heads of her enemies.
Woody Allen? He stutters. (Actually, he's not very well liked by the rest of the super heroes because of his lack of self esteem and his constant need to talk without ever coming to the point.)
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3 comments:
Maximus Gigantos the Fortune Dwarf! Formerly a member of Seven-Up, the trick wrestling posse who dominated the ring, formerly of the circus troop the Tumbling Tiny Guys, now a crime fighter with a massive inferiority complex. Using his wrestling experience, and an old sewing machine, to become a roman legionary, who, when his tiny little gladius fails him, tells people their fortunes, horrifying the baddies with predictions of untimely demise! To go with this duel role as legionary and fortune teller, he has grown a long mustache, and opts toward a purple turban. Ecclectic is the word.
You know, I was going to submit my superhero, but dang it if it don't top Whittaker's. I'm gonna have to try harder.
I thought mine was sort of a crap superhero...
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